


Beast of the Sea's Harry Potter Drabbles

by BeastOfTheSea



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabbles, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-29 03:43:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 82
Words: 8,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeastOfTheSea/pseuds/BeastOfTheSea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>100 words each! Get your shortfic here!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monster and Prisoner

**Author's Note:**

> Blanket Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling, therefore I don't own Harry Potter.

Seventeen days.

Seventeen days he’s been locked up in this filthy monster’s lair.

Seventeen days of unceasing humiliation, torture, and degradation.

He’ll have his revenge, he knows. But every day drags on further and further and seems further and further beyond endurance, even for one with his iron will…

At last, the door to his cell swings open once again, and he spits and hisses at his tormentor; the demon looming over him only chuckles, his thin-lipped mouth curling into a twisted, unnatural parody of a smile.

“And how does it feel, Voldemort,” Potter whispers, “to have the tables turned?”

 


	2. Marriage Advice

Harry advised earplugs.

Ron advised wearing a suit of armor.

Lavender Brown advised divorce.

“But I’m not even married to her yet,” he said in confusion. 

“There’s no such thing as doing it too early,” Lavender insisted.

* * *

Ginny reminded her to treat him well.

Seamus reminded her to be understanding if he wasn’t quite right, after all that had happened.

Luna reminded her to respect and honor the Heliopaths and not offend the Humdingers.

“Even if they’re not Blibbering,” she cautioned. “ _Especially_ if they’re not Blibbering.”

“I’m sorry – are we still talking about the same thing?” Hermione asked in bewilderment.


	3. "Protective"

“Ooh, yes,” Lovegood said serenely to anyone who asked. “She’s very protective.”

Some disgruntled Ravenclaws would gladly have told Lovegood that wasn’t how any sane person pronounced “psychotic”. One boy, even after a year of Weasley chasing down Lovegood-harassers, tried to steal some of Lovegood’s things, as had been the end-of-year tradition. He ended up arriving at the end-of-year feast dressed only in his knickers and a lovely patchwork of bruises, courtesy of an irate Weasley. When asked if she felt any remorse over this, Weasley replied, “Now that I think about it, I shouldn’t have left him his knickers.”


	4. Walk-Ins

The first time, Ariana walked in on them.

The second time, Miss Bagshot walked in on them.

The third time, Aberforth walked in on them.

The fourth time, a goat walked in on them.

The fifth time, Doge’s owl flew in on them.

The sixth time, the room they were in fell in on them, courtesy of Ariana.

The seventh time, the Peverells’ ghosts materialized and began hurling curses at those who would desecrate their grave. Two of them, at any rate – Ignatius only leered, saying he liked to watch.

There was no eighth time. Albus took vows of celibacy.


	5. The Truth About The Peverells

All you know about the Peverell brothers is a lie.

The truth is:

Antioch’s part has been cleaned up for children. His “combative” personality and fondness for “duels” are euphemisms. Evidence for this can still be found in the Elder Wand’s love for strong, dominating men.

Cadmus actually developed the Resurrection Stone to steel him for suicide. That the specters are illusory has been lost to time; that they always urge the user on to death has been lost to willful ignorance.

Ignatius’s motivation for the Cloak was sheer voyeurism. While the Potters descended from him… so did the Skeeters.


	6. History Repeats

_History…_

“What do you say, Albus?”

It was as if, as in a dream, the world was echoing a memory he had never had: the cheerful proposal, the smile that could light up a life, and, though he wasn’t the same one, couldn’t be the same one, the golden-haired boy –

Albus Severus shook his head, the hallucination of recollection vanishing, and took the boy’s hand. “I think we’ll be great friends, Scorpius Malfoy,” he said, smiling back.

“You think? I _know_ we’ll be the very best of friends,” said Scorpius earnestly, flushing with happiness. “Now come on, let’s go…”

_…repeats._

 


	7. Wandwork Lessons

For the edification of the readers, I will now explain the essentials of wandwork.

 

Wandwork Lesson One: It’s not the size of the wand, but rather what one does with it.

Lesson Two: Flexibility is of the essence.

Lesson Three: Always be willing to press the advantage; doing so often determines who comes out on top.

Lesson Four: Penetrating into your opponent’s depths gives one an invaluable advantage in controlling the duel. (I meant his _mind_ , Aberforth – do stop giving me that look.)

Lesson Five: Never underestimate the power of a skilled tongue.

Lesson Six: Always wear socks.

 

-Albus Dumbledore


	8. Ruin Explorers

“Well, I do think domestic bliss would give you a terrible rash, as you said,” Luna said.

Ginny peered around the ruined passageways nervously. “Yeah, but…”

“And isn’t this so much more exciting?” Luna asked, inspecting one dilapidated altar. “Ooh, look! This one promises boils and ingrown eyelashes to whoever is foolish enough to desecrate this shrine, which is all very exciting, but I really think I preferred the one back there, the one that swore a guardian demon would devour your eyeballs…”

Ginny chuckled weakly, wishing that she had listened to the Sorting Hat and gone into Hufflepuff instead.


	9. After The Second Task [AU]

Rita Skeeter had never had to retract a story so quickly, Hermione nearly fainted, and a random Ravenclaw third-year wandered up to them and offered her congratulations.

Harry now understood, of course, that CPR didn’t involve kissing, but it was too late to change anything; besides, he was happier this way. Glancing over at Ron, he squeezed his hand; Ron, whose face seemed to have gone perpetually faintly pink ever since the Second Task’s end, did not look back at him, but squeezed his hand even harder in return.

Yes, he was definitely happier with that out of the way.


	10. Over The Moon For You

“Do you take this, er…” The bonding-wizard paused, looking quite uncomfortable.

From the audience, Mrs. Weasley called out, “Finish it, already!”

“I know that she wants to marry him as soon as possible,” her husband began, “but couldn’t she wait until-”

“Don’t be silly, Arthur,” Mrs. Weasley sniffed. “I think the groom looks marvelous, myself.”

The groom woofed and started furiously scratching at the back of his ear. “Yes, his pelt is very glossy. I suppose.”

“Yes, it is,” Mrs. Weasley said firmly. “And I’m sure he and Tonks will have an absolutely lovely honeymoon once the full moon’s over.”


	11. You Don't Want To Know

“Do I even want to know?”

James and Sirius were entangled in a mess involving tremendous amounts of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum (he could tell the brand from a wrapper stuck to the ceiling), a great length of Arabic Floating Rope, a capsized potion flask, a potted plant that he soon recognized, with some alarm, as a juvenile Devil’s Snare, some still-twitching Chocolate Frogs, socks, a broomstick, and, to tell from the patch of air where strands of gum should have been, James’s Invisibility Cloak. They were also stark naked. 

“No,” said Sirius. “You don’t. Trust me on this, Remus.”


	12. Imperio

_Imperio._ Such a simple word. Such a tempting word. Such a pleasurable word.

 _Imperio_ , and he would have the control he so desperately craved.

 _Imperio_ , and he would no longer have to argue with those impervious to reason.

 _Imperio_ , and he would not have to wheedle, lie, and cheat – all but drag himself through the mud – to ensure his family’s safety alone, and be prepared to trudge into that mud to ensure the safety of the  Wizarding world.

 _Imperio_ , and all his troubles would go away.

 _Imperio_ , and all would seemingly be well…

And that was why he feared it.


	13. What You Can't See...

What he did not see could not hurt him.

If he had ever thought it explicitly, he would have recognized the absurdity – but he turned his mind from that as well. If he denied his own weaknesses, they would not be there; if he denied Gellert’s flashes of viciousness, they would not be there; if he denied his own family, they would not be there. All would be well, if only he could block out all these things vehemently enough. A difficult task, yes…

But then, Albus had always had a knack for deceiving anyone of his choosing – even himself.


	14. The War Of 1945 [AU?]

The Dark Lord Grindelwald had a face like an angel and a smile like a demon.

Harrison Potter had never quite appreciated just how much so until now. To his left, Patricia McGonagall cried under the Cruciatus; to his right, Niall Diggory lay still against a cracked wall, obviously unconscious, possibly dead. As for himself, his wand lay halfway across the hall; Grindelwald could strike him down with ease before he could recapture it.

They had been the best of the Light in England, and now they were as helpless as children backed into a corner by a hungry dragon.


	15. For The Greater Good [AU; Dark Lord Dumbledore]

“Mercy,” said Dolohov, his pitted face wet with tears. Albus looked down at him sadly, shaking his head.

“The time for mercy is past.” With that, he raised his hand, signaling the designated executioner, and a flash of green light filled the room; Vladmir Doholov’s corpse jerked, then slumped forward, the bindings on its arms and legs still holding it in a kneeling position in a mockery of life. Another wave of his hand, and Eliza cast _Levicorpus_ and floated Doholov’s body out, then brought in the next condemned.

A tedious business, executions, but simply necessary for an orderly society.


	16. "In The Course Of One Day..."

“In the course of one day, we have set a good deal of Slytherin House on fire, raided Honeydukes, and narrowly avoided detection and the resulting expulsion from school seven times over.”

James looked expectantly at his friends. All three wore very solemn faces – especially Remus. “I think there’s only one thing we can do…”

Sirius sighed and said woefully, looking like he was attending his own funeral, “Repeat it again as soon as possible?”

The four wizards cracked up, no longer able to keep their faces straight, and slung their arms around each others’ shoulders.

“It’s a wonderful life!”

 


	17. "Potter Is Dead..."

“Harry Potter is dead. Though he evaded Lord Voldemort’s grasp for far too long, he was at last squashed like the cockroach he was… For the last months of his pitiful life, he hid behind other, greater wizards and witches, but in the end ran out of luck – and bodies… Disregard any rumors that he came near to destroying me. They are nothing more but propaganda by the last of Dumbledore’s followers, who, in the end, shall be destroyed like their idol… Any further questions? I thought not… Now – _yes_ , the Weasley in the front row?”

“Who’s that behind you?”


	18. Service [CoS AU; Dark!Harry]

_Will you do anything for me, Harry?_

I thought I’d made it clear I would. Honestly, what else should I do? Except one thing – I’m not about to throw myself off the Astronomy Tower for you, if that’s what you were thinking.

_Will you kill the Weasley girl?_

Gladly; if I’d known you’d let me, I would have killed her long before now for having shared your favor.

_Will you silence the Mudblood?_

I already did that, Tom; she talked too much and understood too little. She always did.

_And will you serve me forever?_

What d’you think I’m doing?


	19. Betrayal (AU)

“What did you expect, leaving me to the mercies of those hateful Muggles? Leaving me to be rejected by the Wizarding world? Leaving me, in the end, to be despised by even your simpering sycophants? What choice did I have, but to turn to another Lord?”

“But Harry – my boy –” Dumbledore gasped, stunned by the emblem he now wore. 

His surprise did not last long – but long enough to utter two little words. As the green light faded and footsteps sounded behind him, Harry turned and knelt to his Lord. 

“Good job, boy,” said Grindelwald, chuckling. “Now we stand unopposed.”


	20. Passing Notes (AU)

“ _Another_ love-letter?” Harry complained loudly for the other Gryffindors’ benefit. “Honestly, Ginny…”

As they laughed and made ribald jokes at his expense (much to Ron’s displeasure), he waved around the note for their benefit, then quickly turned his back and tapped the letter three times with his wand.

The flowery declarations of affection blurred, then resolved into:

_Our Lord requests our presence at Saturday’s morning raid on the Auror training grounds. Don’t be late._

He tapped it again, resurrecting the horrendous love-poems, then headed off to check the mask and robes in his trunk.

It would be an interesting weekend.


	21. Marriage of Convenience (AU?)

“I’d love to marry you, honestly – get my parents off my back, they started suspecting when Sirius came to stay with us – but I couldn’t do that to you. Tell you the truth, I’m _queer_ , Lily – You deserve to marry some bloke who will love you, give you what you deserve, and-”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not love I’m after – just the marriage. It’s better that you don’t love me – I wouldn’t like to do that to you, either. Toerag or not.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re _James Potter_.”

Inexplicably, her falling-out with Snivellus flashed into his mind – and then he understood.


	22. Caretaking (AU)

“I suppose I have you to thank for… taking me in, Mr. Potter.”

“Harry, Harry,” he said soothingly, sitting down close to his ward. “How many times have I told you to call me Harry?”

“Well… Harry.” Voldemort frowned. “Tell me… when can I expect to regain my memory?”

 _Never_. “Very soon, Tom. Patience, patience.”

Voldemort’s frown deepened. “And how long will it be before I’m allowed to interact with others?”

 _Forever and a day_. “Not long. Just relax.”

“And… How long will I have you as a caretaker?”

Harry smiled. “For as long as you need care taken.”

_Eternity._


	23. Q & A Session (AU)

“-our plan regarding the Muggles, Mr. Dolohov, is absolute conquest. Next question.”

“What is the Lady Ariana’s exact occupation?”

“Keep asking me stupid questions, and you may find out! Next?”

“Why does our plan to conquer Russia involve camping in a forest for half a year and fellating a Snitch?”

“Ask Albus. He’s the one with the inordinate love for ludicrous schemes. Next!”

“Does the Lord Dumbledore know about this question-and-answer session?”

“I’m sure he approves of them – he holds them enough, Faust knows. Of course, he insists on giving much more flowery responses… but I can’t fathom why. _Next!_ ”


	24. Pride

Professor Lupin stood at the threshold, his face fixed in an expression of utter stupefaction. “We can explain!” George cried, trying to hide the entire contents of the unused classroom behind his body; Fred didn’t even make the attempt. “The potions supplies-“

“The Fanged Frisbees-”

“The water buffalo-”

“The giant fishtank-”

“The Slytherin firsties-”

Without warning, Lupin burst into tears, burying his face in his hands and collapsing against the doorframe; the Twins could only stare in horror.

“Pro-Professor Lupin?!”

“I think we broke him, George…”

“N-no…” Lupin sobbed, mopping his eyes with his ragged sleeve. “I’m just so p-proud…”


	25. A Creature-Fic [Parody]

“The moment I told Dumbledore I was gay,” Harry said confidently, narrowing his kohl-rimmed eyes at his twenty Veela mates, “he flinched back in horror! I tell you, I can’t wait to get back at that homophobic old bastard!”

“Me too!” Draco, or rather D’r’ak’o’h, piped up, followed by a general agreement. “I tell you, he just can’t stand anything but his perfect Gryffindors!”

Harry took a swig of his Firewhiskey. “Totally. I-”

“Actually, boys,” said a voice from behind them, “it was your _fashion_ _sense_ that repulsed me. All of you? Wearing black after Walpurgis? What were you _thinking?_ ”


	26. Fine Print (AU)

“ _In recent news, while on a vacation abroad, Harry Potter defeated the Chinese Dark Lord – apparently by poisoning his wonton soup – Story is still developing-”_

Albus Dumbledore buried his face in his hands as the news-host on the Wizarding Wireless continued to narrate the story. Beside him, Fawkes let out a mournful trill.

He really should have asked Trelawney to specify that the Dark Lord of her prophecy would be _British_.

So much for that plan.

_Fifteen years of effort down the drain…_

He sighed. Might Neville Longbottom be willing to oink obligingly as he trotted off to the slaughter?


	27. The Missing Mirror, Ariana Version

“-and then Alby and Gelly split up forever, I can’t fathom why. But I think it was because Gelly had always been a bit harsh on his sense of style, and Alby always was very sensitive about his clothes,” Ariana’s portrait concluded with a serene smile.

For several long seconds, there was complete silence save for the crackling of the fire; then, as one, Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned to Aberforth. “Is that _really_ the whole story?” Hermione asked in a high, incredulous voice, her forehead scrunching up like an accordion.

Aberforth sighed. “Well. Ariana’s always been a bit… different…”


	28. Voldemort's... Weakness?

“Dumbledore revealed to me how to defeat you!” Potter declared.

Voldemort’s red eyes narrowed to slits. “Indeed? And what did the old man pull from his senile fever-dreams?”

Before anyone could move, Harry ran at Voldemort, tackled him, and began snogging him furiously.

In the ensuing scuffle, and dead silence from those gathered, there was a muffled noise that sounded like “Worked on the Snitch!”

As the commotion continued, and Bellatrix looked fit to have an attack of apoplexy, Lucius shook his head and turned to the other Death Eaters. “Draco always did tell me Potter was a little addled…”


	29. A Different Sort Of Time-Travel Story

“-and so I went back in time to seduce you to the Dark, so that we would stand unopposed in 1945.” Tom shook his head, still dumbfounded at the scene before him. “It appears I arrived a bit… late, however.”

“Beat you to it,” Gellert said cheerfully, resting his head against the young Dumbledore’s chest. “Pity of you to come all this way and have nothing to show for it, however. You seem like an intelligent enough young wizard – _Ménage_ _à trois_ , as the French would say?”

Dumbledore smacked him lightly over the head, but nonetheless regarded Tom with interest…


	30. Coming Out

“Mum, Dad, I have something to announce – I’m straight,” Ron declared in a shaking voice, to the appalled cries of his parents.

“How could you, Ron?” his mother sobbed.

“Are you sure you just haven’t found the right wizard?” his father asked desperately. “Percy thought he was straight, too, until he met Viktor-”

“Oh, Ron! We had such a lovely reunion planned, with Bill and Remus and Charlie and Oliver and the Twins and Lee and Luna and Ginny – Please, _please_ don’t bring a witch, or you’ll _ruin_ it-”

Ron sat there miserably and cradled his head in his hands.


	31. Changed Over The Summer

“Oh, Harry! How did you acquire those washboard abs over the summer?”

“And those striking good looks!”

“And that imperious confidence!”

“And that _incredible_ fashion sense-”

Harry looked around quickly, then leaned down to whisper in Hermione’s ear. “Promise you won’t tell?”

“Of course not!” she gasped, trying not to swoon from his very proximity, even though, deep in her heart, she sadly suspected that he might be gay. But maybe he’d just cleaned Theodore Nott’s tonsils as a courtesy.

“Fred and George’s shop. Turns out they can conjure up more than pranks when they put their mind to it.”


	32. Personal Ads

_SWF seeking companion to discuss woes about boyfriends more interested in DLs. Relationship optional._

_SWF seeking companion to discuss woes about DLs more interested in Chosen1s. Relationship optional._

“You’re not exactly who I expected to answer my ad,” Ginny said after opening the Burrow’s front door.

“Neither are you, blood-traitor,” Bellatrix replied, hastily Banishing her bouquet of roses.

There was a silence.

“Well, you’re here,” Ginny said, opening the front door wider. “Want to come in and have a cup of tea?”

“I’d prefer a bottle of Firewhiskey,” Bellatrix muttered, entering. “Just – _Men_.”

“You’re telling me, Bella. You’re telling me.”


	33. Your Mate Is...

Harry stared at his destined mate, his soul-bonded for life, the one who would complete him flawlessly and utterly. In the span since Griphook had told him of his creature inheritance, his mind had swirled with possibilities, fantasy alternating with nightmare, until he nearly went mad. But never in his most absurd fancies had he imagined it would be the one standing before him, the face that seemed at once so familiar and so wildly alien…

“ _You?_ ”

“Why did you think I called you ‘mate’ all these years?” said Ron, his patience growing thin. “Honestly, and people call _me_ thick.”


	34. Disgraceful Conduct

“Now, my dear boys, I’ve called you into my office on a matter of great seriousness and importance,” Dumbledore said, the twinkle fading from his eyes. “It seems that you have frequently engaged in public sexual activities all throughout Hogwarts-”

“How would you know? We had my Invisibility Cloak on!” James protested before Sirius clamped a hand over his mouth.

“And what of it, Headmaster?” Sirius said, looking perfectly innocent and charming.

“I’m afraid that your conduct has been simply disgraceful.” Dumbledore shook his head. “That is _not_ how you properly make love to a wizard standing up! And furthermore…”


	35. The Final Showdown [AU]

Two boys stood staring at each other in the chilling rain, the downpour soaking their robes and plastering them against their wearers’ frames.

One was thickset, the other rail-thin; one was uncertain but brave, the other cold-eyed and confident. Both were silent, but at last, one spoke.

“Harry… Harry, how could you do this to us?”

The other raised his wand, smiling. “The Chosen One of Darkness, and the Chosen One of Light… It was simple enough, Neville. As the play says, we’ve had this date from the beginning.”

“But Voldemort-”

“Voldemort, Dumbledore- merely _our_ predecessors. Now, _draw your wand!_ ”


	36. What Do They See in Each Other?

They let everyone assume that it had been his celebrity that had drawn her to him, that she was nothing more than an exalted fangirl. And his attraction to _her_? Nothing more than teenaged lust.

But she had been broken of her admiration for abstract entities at eleven, and shortsighted desires had been beaten out of him long before that age. In his dark hair and piercing gaze and increasingly cruel charisma, she saw the Tom of her memories made flesh, one who would not abandon her again.

And in her fire and secret savagery and cunning, he saw empires.


	37. Dark Lord and Lover [AU]

The Dark Lord gave an exasperated sigh as he found his young lover sprawled out on the bed, contemplating old trophies. “Honestly, must you still be such a _schoolboy?_ ”

The young man smirked, resting his chin on one hand. “You’re one to talk. Who made conquering Hogwarts a priority?”

“It has strategic value!”

“ _Sentimental_ , more than anything…”

“You wanted Dumbledore’s downfall as much as I. If not more.” The Dark Lord settled down beside him, scowling. “Don’t complain.”

“Complain? I’m not complaining.” His lover laughed, dark-lashed eyes narrowing seductively. “Do I ever complain, Gellert?”

“Frequently, Tom. But never mind that.”


	38. It's Always The Quiet Ones [AU]

Neville sympathized with late Lord Riddle on one count – the desire for another name. “Lord Longbottom” – gah, hopeless. But a Lord of the Green surpassed even that of Darkness, and those who laughed soon trembled.

Funny, that. Everyone had anticipated the next great Lord would be Harry. Then again, everyone had thought him the prophesied child. No – only a boy who managed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time far too many times, and survive all but the last of them. Until another took his place, slaying the Lord who had slain him.

_Always the quiet ones…_


	39. Love's Arrow [AU]

“Well, now, look at Tom. He’s gone completely mad over this new young man…”

“Perhaps he’s serious.” The Dark Lord of Eastern Europe snorted, leaning against his husband. “Oh, love’s arrow transfixes even that blackened heart. I never thought I’d see the day.”

The Dark Lord of Western Europe raised an eyebrow. “I must admit, I thought my dear lieutenant was… incapable of love. Perhaps I underestimated Tom…”

“You always have.” The golden-haired man shrugged. “I don’t see what’s so special about this ‘Harry’, but love isn’t rational.”

“Except with us.”

Gellert smirked. “Right you are, Albus. Except with us.”  


	40. Hymn [AU, mildly Harry/Voldemort]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "poem" is Swinburne's Hymn to Proserpine.

“Ye were all so fair that are broken, and one more fair than ye all…”

Harry collapsed on his workbench, breathing heavily; his emaciated fingers trembled, his bones searing with pain. He was ready to pay the ultimate price, he was paying it in this half-life every day, so long as, in exchange…

“But I turn to her – _him_ still,” he whispered, correcting the pronoun in the poem, “having seen he shall surely abide in the end…”

Wizards said necromancy was impossible. That only phantoms could be conjured up, at best.

For Lord Voldemort, he would prove them all wrong.


	41. Rescuer [AU]

“Sir – sir, where are we going?”

“Somewhere much better than here,” Quirrel said brusquely, in words dictated by his Master. Though anywhere would have sufficed for _that_. A pit full of starving wolves.

At least the starving wolves weren’t his own, traitorous blood.

Not that one could expect more of Muggles, of course. And they wouldn’t be bothering the boy any longer – the appropriate authorities would find they had all perished in a freak accident with an escaped Brazilian boa constrictor. Convenient of the boy to provide one, really.

Now, mortal foe would make far better guardian than betraying blood.


	42. Serpent's Survival - Take 2 [AU]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during the scene where Harry sacrifices himself to Voldemort in Deathly Hallows.
> 
> Except it doesn't go that way this time.

“Dumbledore set me up to die,” Harry said, staring into the flickering light of the campfire. “But I find I haven’t come this far to die. Spare me, and I’ll serve you forever.”

Hagrid cried out; it did not matter. He had eyes only for Voldemort.

“And what do I gain from your life?” asked his mortal foe.

Harry smiled mirthlessly. “My betrayal is a far worse demoralizer than my martyrdom could ever be.”

Silence.

The Dark Lord lowered the Elder Wand.

“Let us see if you speak truly, Harry Potter,” he said slowly. “And, if it should be so…”


	43. At King's Cross

“Well, Voldemort. Good to see you again.”

The dark-haired man, grey beginning to touch his temples, scowled and refused to rise from his seat. “I cannot reciprocate the sentiment.”

“You put yourself back together…” Harry smiled. “Glad to see that. At times, I worried about you.”

“A strange way of showing it, Potter – abandoning me beneath a bench.”

“I was young and foolish. And far too prone to listening to Dumbledore.” He extended a hand. “Still – death isn’t the end, as we can both see. Shall we start again?”

Voldemort glared at it with distaste – then, at last, took it.


	44. Dialogue [NSFW]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever gotten a bit frustrated with all the 'it's not what it sounds like' dialogue?

“Deeper! Deeper!” Harry groaned, his eyes rolling back into his head. “Yeah, that’s right… A little more… For the love of _Merlin_ , ram it in _harder!_ Yeah… Unh… More, damn it, _deeper!_ Put some _muscle_ into it! I – come on, can’t you put it in any m- Yeah, _yeah, YES,_ that’s it, by God, _yes_ , keep it up, you’re-”

“What are you two _doing?_ ” Ron asked from the other side of the locked and barred door.

“Having him help me into my new boots!” Harry hollered back, then looked up at his lover and hissed, “Come on, keep fucking me!”


	45. Locket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate some of the more Harry/Tom-ish drabbles in this recent batch to IsysSkeeter by way of apology for not filling her prompt with slash. I hope to do better next time!

Harry’s hand unconsciously snuck up to his chest and squeezed the locket. _And what are you offering them – Hermione and Ron?_

 _So much less than I offer you._ The seductive voice hissed in his ear. _What did Dumbledore ever give you, but duties and betrayals? Secrets and lies… Because of me, your parents died, but because of Dumbledore, the Dursleys_ lived _._

Harry’s face contorted, and he rolled over in his sleep. _And what_ do _you offer me?_

 _Freedom. Vengeance. Everything you’ve ever wanted, but have never known to ask._ A faint sensation, like fingertips, brushed against his cheek. _Until now._


	46. All That Differed [AU]

Potter is dead at my hands, Dumbledore.

He went willingly.

Your manipulations disgusted him. Your hypocrisy galled him. Your callousness sickened him.

In the end, he thought all that differed between Headmaster Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort was that Lord Voldemort never sought to disguise his intentions. And so he gave himself over to an executioner who would not pretend to be his friend and trusted mentor until the moment he slit his throat.

You do not believe it? You are welcome to not believe. It does not matter.

What matters is that, without your precious savior, England is now mine.


	47. In Darkness [AU]

It wasn’t that the Dark was beautiful.

Harry had grown up in ugliness and misery. He’d grown up where might had been right. He’d grown up knowing that the strong enslaved the weak, and the better sort tortured whom they pleased, and all that mattered was whether you were the tormented or the tormentor.

The Light was kinder, the Light was prettier. It said the world didn’t have to be like that, that there could be another way…

The Light was a fairytale lie.

The Dark – the Dark felt like home to him.

Save that he now had the power.


	48. As The Twig Is Bent... [AU]

The boy was raised to neither expect empathy nor to give it. He was raised to see the world in terms of power and those who did not have it. He was raised to believe that there was no right but what those in power liked, and no wrong but what they hated.

He took in hatred with his letters and learned the calculations of cruelty before he could do his maths. To say nothing of magic…

And now you see him full-grown and tremble in his wake, and all an intelligent witch can ask is–

What did you _expect?_


	49. Inheritance I [Parody]

“Wait a minute,” Harry interrupted, “there’s something funny here.”

One inheritance-manager goblin peered at him over her spectacles. “What do you mean?”

“You just said Snape was my real father.”

“Indeed he is.”

“But you said five minutes ago that Sirius was my real father.”

“Indeed he is.”

“But – they can’t _both_ be my real father!”

“Indeed they can. Have you heard of male pregnancy?”

As Harry collapsed in a dead faint, the other goblin turned to the first, shaking her head in disappointment. “I _told_ you it was too much to break to the poor boy all at once…”


	50. Inheritance II [Parody]

“Right. In order to claim my Black family inheritance, I have to change my name.”

“Yes, Mr. Potter – soon-to-be Mr. Black.”

“And you are telling me that I _must_ change it to Elvendork Cirrhosis Anemia Meningitis Black.”

“Yes, Mr. Potter.”

“ _Why_?”

The inheritance-manager goblin coughed. “Apparently Mr. Black was ‘bloody fed up with all these fancy Pureblood names’ – wished to ‘take the piss out of them’.”

“But even at the expense of his _heir_? I mean – I thought he _liked_ me!”

“I’m sure he did, Mr. Potter. Alas, he had an unfortunate fondness for the name ‘Elvendork’ – felt it underused…”


	51. Inheritance III [Parody]

“It is mandatory for every Dumbledore heir to dress like this.”

Clad in a pink jumper, polka-dotted halter top, bejeweled thong, olive-green kneepads, bright purple-and-orange-striped socks, shockingly-blue garter, diamond-and-opal necklace, live-anaconda hat, grapefruit-sized earrings, and a glitter-covered nose-ring, Harry declared:

“You know, I think the Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Slytherin, Black, Potter, Peverell, Grindelwald, and Merlin inheritances were enough. I think I’ll be skipping this one.”

The inheritance-manager goblin shook her head. “Oh, _no_ , Mr. Potter. You must behave as befits an Heir. No exceptions allowed.”

“Even if I bribed you with half my vault?”

“Tempting… but no. It’s the law.”


	52. Tension

“MALFOY!”

 “WEASLEY!”

“MALFOY!”

“WEASLEY!”

“MALFOY!”

“WEASLEY!”

“MALFOY!”

“Are they ever going to stop?” Granger said through her teeth.

“Oh, boys,” Parkinson said dismissively. “You know how they are when they go at it.”

“WEASLEY!”

“MALFOY!”

“WEASLEY!”

“MALFOY!”

“We’ll be late to Quidditch practice at this rate!” Potter complained.

“Ten points from Gryffindor for breathing,” Snape said instantly.

“WEASLEY!”

“MALFOY!”

“WEASLEY!”

“MALFOY!”

“FUCK ME!”

“MY PLEASURE!”

As the redhead and the blond leapt on each other and Granger and Parkinson fainted dead away, Luna said serenely to the gawping crowd, “Now, what does The Quibbler say? Sexual tension, all sexual tension…”


	53. The Power He Knows Not [Parody]

BREAKING NEWS!

The power the Dark Lord knows not is gay sex!

Yes, the great power which the Dark Lord Gellert Grindelwald (and later our very own Lemon Drop Lord, Albus Dumbledore!) harnessed to such great effect is NOT known by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Apparently he prefers the company of snakes.

(Aberforth Dumbledore, barman of the Hog’s Head, officially said on Tuesday, “You can’t judge love,” gripping his favorite goat all the while.)

Mr. Potter, in his selflessness, will be exercising this power with any young man willing to help “speed the Dark Lord’s fall”.  Get your ticket now, boys!

-Rita Skeeter


	54. long time ago [AU]

“Harry – Harry, please don’t do this!”

The wizard continued the ritual preparations, even as the sacrifice writhed and begged. “Harry – Harry, don’t you see? You’ve become just like Tom!” she cried. “The boy you were would never-”

The follower of the Dark stopped for a moment, his brow furrowed. “Yes. The boy I was,” he repeated. “I suppose he would never have done this, would he?” For a moment, the sacrifice stared up at him, her eyes pleading and familiar. Then, the Dark wizard shook his head and resumed his work.

“But, Ginny, that was a very long time ago.”


	55. What They Wanted [AU\

They called for a new Dark Lord. They called for an unequaled wizard, a mystical and beautiful man, a magus whose cunning knew no equal.

They received a beaten and maltreated little boy, his powers great but outside his control, and his scheming only that of any child that never had enough to eat and was punished for any infraction.

He knew he wasn’t what they wanted. He knew he had never been what anyone wanted.

Still, he pushed onwards, and hoped the tales that came after would be good enough.

Even if they had nothing to do with _him_.


	56. Demands

_Be the hero, Harry._ A thousand shifting faces, all with the same cringing-arrogant, subservient-demanding voice. _Be our hero. Save us from the Dark._

And amongst all these faces stood a thin, short boy with a worn-down visage and downcast eyes. Some of those surrounding him were tall and strong; others were wise and mighty. But they all demanded that this frail boy save them.

They all _demanded_ it of him.

They never stopped to think that what he gave to them, he gave willingly.

A willingness that could be retracted at any time.

And one day, he simply said, “No.”


	57. (Unnamed Necromancer AU) I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's less a standalone than a snippet from an AU I may or may not write. I figure it's easiest to start with a few drabbles to test the waters.

“Harold Evans. Necromancer.”

Tom’s eyes skimmed over the fellow. “I was told you were a Potter.” 

A fleeting grimace. “I suppose you heard that from someone who last checked up on me _before_ the family burned my name out of its records.” He shrugged. “Good riddance. I can do without Light-worshipping backstabbers.”

“I take it they disapproved of your chosen career.” Tom weighed his next words. “Ironic, since more than a few histories name Ignatius Peverell as a necromancer without peer.”

Evans nodded respectfully at Tom. “You did your research.” He stepped aside and gestured to the doorway. “Come in.”


	58. (Unnamed Necromancer AU) II

“I think Horcruxes are a load of rot bound to drive anyone to insanity,” Evans said through gritted teeth, his hands curled into fists around his notes.

“Mr. Evans,” Tom said with equally intense cold fury, “a _well-disciplined_ mind can handle divisions-”

“A _well-disciplined_ mind,” Evans said in a sing-song voice, “is better at fooling itself! I’m not about to tear my soul apart for a protection that isn’t even foolproof!” Breathing heavily, he set his notes down and forced his appearance into some semblance of control. “Besides,” he said, “I’ve got something better. If I can make it work…”


	59. (Unnamed Necromancer AU) III

“You think you can manipulate the Veil?” Tom demanded. “You’re mad.”

“I’m not mad! _Ignatius managed it!_ ”

“What?”

“The Cloak! Don’t you see? _What in the world is Death’s Cloak?_ ” Evans pounded his fist on the table. “It’s been there all along, but no one bloody bothered to read it _literally!_ That was Ignatius’s boast! That he had mastered the Veil as though he _owned_ it, and thought Death as harmless as an old friend!”

“And Ignatius lies dead in Godric’s Hollow. That, for all his ‘mastery’-”

“His _grave_ is in Godric’s Hollow. Who’s to say he’s ever inhabited it?”


	60. Battered Child (AU)

“One of the worst cases I’ve seen,” Archer said curtly as he threw his coat onto the rack. “Starved. Beaten. Systematically isolated from every opportunity for love, or even the slightest scrap of approval – this is precisely what our Lord warned us about! What our Lord warned us about, and the lazy fools refused to listen!”

“What’s his name?” Evalina asked, looking up from the table.

Archer took a shaking breath and curled his hand around the pendant at his neck, Lord Grindelwald’s undying symbol: Cloak, Stone, and Wand. It calmed him enough to speak: “Harry. His name is Harry.”


	61. Discovery (AU)

_You are the firssst one to dissscover me in your firssst year._

“That’s nice, really,” Harry said, looking about in the dark; he thought it must be quite a large snake to make quite a large noise, but he couldn’t figure out where it was.

He couldn’t figure out where the way out was, either.

“Where is this place?”

_You do not know?_

“No.” He ran his fingers along a carved snake on the wall; it looked almost like it might come to life. “I was – running from people. The wall opened, and-”

_Then welcome to the Chamber of Sssecretsss._


	62. A Different Choice [AU]

_Not Slytherin, not –_ Harry paused, hesitating. _What is – what is Gryffindor like?_

 _Ah, Gryffindor…_ the voice seemed to give a sigh. _If you fear Slytherin, you’d best fear Gryffindor as well. Both eaten alive by arrogance. It’s become as much of a caricature of the Light as Slytherin’s become of the Dark._

Harry frowned. He didn’t like the sound of that.

 _As well you shouldn’t, boy. But if you’re smart enough to ask –_ I _must ask, what do you_ want?

Harry was very quiet. _I want – to fight people like my relatives. And never_ become _them._

_Then better be –_

“HUFFLEPUFF!”


	63. Protect Our Own (AU)

“Who are you?”

He gave the boy a short smile. “Officially, boy, I’m dead, and dead men have no names.”

The boy frowned. “Unofficially?”

He was a smart boy.

He would have to have been smart, surviving that household.

Repressing a snarl, he smiled wider at the boy. “Can’t tell you. I’m protecting _my_ relatives.”

“And my relatives?”

He gave a curt laugh. “They’re beyond protection now.”

The boy’s frown deepened, his body suddenly still and cautious. “And me?”

“You’re one of us, boy. We protect our own kind.”

True enough.

And _someone_ had to protect his worthless brother’s godson.


	64. (Unnamed Necromancer AU) IV

“You see, Tom?” Evans asked, the cold fire of determination in his eyes. “If I died, it wouldn’t matter. Because _I would come back_.”

“You’re delusional,” Tom snapped. “Thinking you can return from the grave-”

“More delusional than believing I could become immortal by mortal means?” Evans retorted. “Your precious Horcruxes are just attempting the same thing without crossing the Veil. But if they’re sent through, what becomes of you?”

“They won’t. And how could you return without anchors?”

Evans gave a short laugh. “Gryffindor, remember? I don’t fear wandering long unmoored, so long as I return in the end.”


	65. (Unnamed Necromancer AU) V

Bragging to Tom was one thing. In practice…

Harold surveyed the grey fog all around him and cursed.

Death was… harder to manage than he’d imagined. The three brothers must have worked in tandem. One’s power didn’t suffice.

And death had come decades sooner than he’d planned.

Fucking Frenchmen.

Still – he’d said he’d manage it. And he would. He had the will to keep from passing On, and the strength to maintain a distinct form even here.

Funny, really.

In death, he had all the time in the world.

_There’s got to be a thin spot in the Veil somewhere…_


	66. (Unnamed Necromancer AU) VI

Desperation had set in.

Time passed differently in the absence of physical sensations. He’d wasted too much of it. While he fooled about in death, life went on. Tom had already risen to power, and war raged through England. If he didn’t hurry, it would be decided long before he could join the fight –

He worked feverishly as the decade sped past, taking advantage of the frequent deaths to learn as much as he could about the way through – and, potentially, the way _back_. The Killing Curse stemmed from necromancy. If he could only study –

And then came the prophecy –


	67. (Unnamed Necromancer AU) VII

For all he knew, the bright flare within the fog was the entrance to Hell.

He knew all too well the realm of death had its tricks. All paths led On, if you walked them for too long. Grims lurked in every dense pocket of mist. And, when you observed overlong through the Veil, the surroundings began camouflaging themselves as scenes pulled from life –

But he had no other option.

He was desperate.

The drunken sybil had prophesized the birth of Tom’s vanquisher – and he’d slept through enough Divination to know prophecies self-fulfilled.

He had to intervene, and intervene _now_ –


	68. (Unnamed Necromancer AU) VIII

“What are you?” he demanded, staring at the haphazard network of magic around him.

The entity at the center of the net, taking the form of an adolescent female, shrugged. “A freak.” It reached out and patted the head of a passing spectral goat.

“This is – this is-” He shook his head. “How long have you been at this?”

“A very long time.” It had the grace to look apologetic. “I lost count. I don’t want to go on, you see, and I have to do _something_ …”

“But then… if… The power I’ve sought…”

“What?”

“You’ve got to help me.”


	69. Payment of Dues (AU)

The man scowled, scratching the back of his neck. The enchantment wouldn't stop nagging at him.

So Sirius could escape Azkaban and fulfill his duties as a godfather, but wouldn't? Probably out of a misplaced sense of guilt, damn him. Not total insanity, since the spell thought he was _competent_ to act as godfather.

Well, if it couldn't have Sirius, it would compel the next capable Black male to fulfill his duty. And even a flawlessly-faked, nearly-magically-impervious death could not fool it. Very well, he was a good Pureblood, he would pay his brother's debt…

Once he _found_ the boy.


	70. Payment of Dues II (AU)

No wonder the spell had been so insistent. By the time it went off, it seemed, the Potter boy's _current_ caretakers had subjected him to treatment equal to that of the average House-Elf.

Had he Sirius's temperament, he would have torn them apart for _daring_ to do that do a Wizarding child, consequences be damned. Luckily for the boy, he was one of the calmer Blacks.

He just rescued the boy and turned in evidence, together with the Muggles' address, to crypto-Grindelwaldians. That lot did the rest.

They were so messily inventive, he couldn't have hoped for a better job.


	71. Payment of Dues III (AU)

For a child so neglected, the boy positively _bristled_ with monitoring spells. He had a wretched time getting enough off that he could properly fake the child's death.

He grimaced when he noticed the tainted patch extending back from the boy's forehead through his brain. Well, it was a fortunate thing that he had taken up necromancy, then. Cutting the bond back to the Dark Lord and integrating the soul piece would be the boy's best chance of survival.

And impossible for any but a necromancer. Someone meant the Muggles to kill the boy, then? That explained a great deal…


	72. Payment of Dues IV (AU)

No – too simple. No point in building Harry Potter up as a savior if he was meant to die betimes.

However. House-Elves were easily led. A child raised like one would be the same. Who benefited from that?

Follow back the thread. Who put him there? Ministry? Crouch had it in him, sending his own blood to Azkaban, but Crouch would torture the boy himself. Aurors? Unspeakables? Again – not adverse to blood on their own hands. A coward's ploy, this. A charming coward. A Light coward, perhaps… very highly-ranked one… the sort to abandon a loyal servant in Azkaban…

Dumbledore?


	73. Payment of Dues V (AU)

Then spite Dumbledore. Raise the boy independent-minded and quick-witted, teaching him well. Hate and suspicion, the boy already knew. A good Dark wizard in the making, even if further abuse would have beaten it out of him.

Keep him away from Hogwarts. Beauxbatons or Durmstrang – French went better with his own upbringing, _toujours pur_ , and Karkaroff's fear of being deemed too Dark had castrated Durmstrang. Beauxbatons it was.

Raise him well, satisfy the debt. Trace locations of Horcruxes from the one in the boy's head, then integrate it and destroy the rest. Bring down Voldemort before he resurrected.

Tricky work…


	74. Savior (AU?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I do remember this collection exists on occasion.

They’d expected a savior – they’d gotten a human being.

They didn’t like that. They turned on him at every opportunity, condemning him for every inadequacy – but of course they expected him to save them. ‘Twas what a savior _did_. They had no gratitude – they took it as their due. He was Chosen to save them; it was only natural. Why should they thank him?

And so it came to pass that, when the Chosen One turned on them, as was only natural, there was no one left to save them.

They’d been given a human being. They created a monster.


	75. Mortal Indifference (AU, BWL!Neville)

In another world, Harry Potter might have been the battered, manipulated boy whom the Wizarding World held up as a savior when he could barely save himself.

But Voldemort went after a different family that night.

Neville Longbottom grew up knowing a Wizarding World that watched his every move, relatives that abused him ceaselessly to try to make him display the powers of a Chosen One, and a “grandfatherly” user who saw him as a plaything, never a child.

When he encountered Voldemort in first year, he smiled, dropped his wand, and told the Dark Lord to make it quick.


	76. Compare and Contrast [Dark!BWL!Neville]

“You are everything I was not,” Tom Riddle said with utter hatred. “Pureblooded, wealthy, raised by loving parents…” His eyes flashed red. “Little wonder my older self sought you out to kill you… I quite understand what drove him to it…”

Neville gave a short laugh. “I _was_ everything you weren’t. Now?” He shook his head. “Both freaks, both loved and hated by our supposed ‘friends’, both disdainful of this world and every hypocrite in it.” Looking up, he gave Riddle a wry smile. “Why do we have to be enemies, Tom? I think we’ve got a lot in common…”


	77. Sorting [BWL!Neville]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Neville isn't really IC in these drabbles, but I'm having too much fun to care at the present minute. Harry's often quite OOC in Slytherin!Harry and/or Dark!Harry stories, after all, and that's part of the fun...

_Slytherin’s the Dark house. Only cowards, liars, and cheats are in Slytherin. Slytherin –_

The old mantras repeated in Neville’s head as he slid into his seat at the table, but he found he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“It’s a pleasure to have you here with us, Mr. Longbottom,” the older student beside him said cordially. Neville made the appropriate sounds, having had them beaten into him long ago, but remained indifferent. He was through worrying what others thought of him.

The myth of the “Boy-Who-Lived” could burn. He would be Neville, and only Neville, now – whoever that might be.


	78. Triad of Shadows [BWL!Neville, Dark!Neville&Harry&Ron implied]

Harry Potter wanted to get out from under the shadow of his stepfather. Ronald Weasley wanted to get out from under the shadow of his brothers. Neville Longbottom wanted to get out from under the shadow of his own legend as the Boy-Who-Lived.

The Shadow Trio, as they wryly called themselves, began as three weak boys who feared the world, feared the expectations placed upon them, and feared the shadows within themselves. Together, they strived to overcome those fears. Together… they fed those shadows.

And when, together, they came to overshadow the world they once feared… _it_ learned to fear.


	79. Befriended [BWL!Neville]

Harry was frankly surprised. Surely the Boy-Who-Lived had better people to bother with than a fatherless Half-Blood despised by his own stepfather, without any notable inheritance to his name, and with only a certain knack for Defense to recommend him?

Longbottom, however, had a certain contempt for the people who _should_ have been his friends. He didn’t like sycophants, he _loathed_ Boy-Who-Lived groupies, and he was far from friendly to the same Light that assumed his allegiance as its divine right.

Harry rather liked him.

When the Light discovered the truth, he hoped for a front-row seat to the fireworks.


	80. Occlumency Drill [BWL!Neville]

“I can teach you Occlumency,” Harry offered one day after a Dumbledore’s Army meeting.

“You know it?”

“Yeah.” Harry’s face twisted into a bitter smile. “My stepfather _practices_ with me. Says I’m shite with it, though.”

“You’ve still got to be better than me.” Neville’s fingertips pressed against his scar. “I tell you. I’ll do anything to stop the nightmares.”

“This weekend, then. Set aside a few hours for our first time. I’ll be more gentle with you than my stepfather was with me.”

“D’you have any idea what you sound like?”

“The first instruction will be _Clean your mind_.”


	81. J'accuse! [AU, Parody]

“ _Ginny Weasley!_ ” Harry roared as he burst into the room. “I know that you’ve been dosing me with love potions since last y-”

Luna pushed herself up on one elbow and waved as Ginny, flushing madly, jerked the covers over them. “Oh, hello, Harry,” the dreamy-eyed blonde said serenely. “What’s this about love potions?”

He stood, gaping at the two of them, and then backed out of the room. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Evidently you weren’t in on it.”

“In on _what_?” Ginny snapped.

“Uh – nothing. Your mother’s get-rich-quick-and-do-away-with-the-husband schemes.”

“She wanted to marry you?!”

“Er – no, not exactly – goodbye!”


	82. Worse Things Than Death [AU; Dark!Harry]

“You know, Tom,” the brat mused, smiling, “there are disadvantages to being willing to do _anything_ to avoid death.”

Tom snarled, unable to do anything as the brat, _yet again_ , pressed the tip of the basilisk fang to the diary. Each drop of poison sizzled as it hit the pages; each drop of poison sent flames screaming through his spectral veins, more terrible than a phoenix’s cleansing fire. “I know you’re thinking I have to sleep sometime,” the brat said, face innocent as an angel’s. “But I intend to bind you quite well before then. _Till death do us part._ ”


End file.
